In other news, baby is the size of a scallion this week. I know, I know, say what? Well, I guess they say the comparison is about the length not the girth. Which is 14 inches long by the way. But hey, I’d take a healthy scallion – that babe would come out quick! 😉
As I come to the end of my second trimester I find myself looking forward with a heart full of awe and a surprising lack of anxiety. I’ve said before how unbelievable it feels to know we will be welcoming a child into our lives relatively soon. What’s more unbelievable is how little I fear the change. I know deep down that we’re ready. I know in my soul that I’m meant to be a mother – that this new person is a necessary component of my evolution. I don’t know how I know, but I do.
And honestly, I’m not really afraid of all the that we don’t yet know either. Things like how to get the perfect breastfeeding latch, how to change a diaper so it doesn’t leak, how to hold-the-baby-pet-the-cat-and-drink-water simultaneously. How to do parenting. And do it well.
If I mull over what we don’t know for too long and let the pile grow higher with the weight of so many years of childhood, sure I get a bit antsy. But all it takes is one thought to bring me back to a place of peace. We’re bringing a person into the world – a person who comes equipped with their own inner guidance and instinct. I trust that my baby will not need me to decipher the most important things on my own. He or she will help teach us what we need to know.
And those other more practical things? We’ll learn them eventually. And in the meantime our adventures in learning them will make for what I assume will be some pretty great tragicomedies. And what better fodder for stories to tell years from now. Hopefully we get some really embarrassing stories that will make us all cringe and cry and laugh simultaneously. Because isn’t that parenting?
Notes & Observations
- Kicks and flips galore! A gymnast? A fish? What’s in there??
- The Rastafarians we passed on the beach each told me I am having a girl. “It’s a girl, mon!” they’d shout when I walked by. Maybe they have a magical knowing or maybe they’re just playing really good odds?
- Some folks who were staying at our retreat center couldn’t even tell I was pregnant. I guess they thought I really like to eat cheese? (Well, to their credit I do.)
- It’s hard to tell how much the belly is growing until I look back at pictures from weeks past. I’m so glad to be documenting the weeks here because sometimes I feel like I’m not changing at all, and other days I wake up feeling like my belly has shrunk! I’m so weird.
- I’m obsessed with watching my tiny dancer shake my belly. I’ll stop whatever I’m going to see if I can catch the movement under my shirt. I am starting to understand how moms get sucked into being unproductive even with time on their hands. Because babies! They move! And it’s freakin’ amazing!!