Maggie and Sam came to visit for the weekend. We did a little of everything and tried to enjoy the warm, sunny weather as much as possible. Big breakfasts were eaten, the yard was raked, ramps were foraged, walks were taken. Then we went out to dinner at Kismet in Montpelier to celebrate life and an early Mother’s Day. We all agreed it was a great meal. On Sunday Simeon took his new bike to a shop in New Hampshire to get it looked at, bought some needed biking supplies and took a long ride back at home while I napped.
Meanwhile, this week has been full of watching flowers bloom, laundry folding, and and snuggles with Mo. Who needs an eye mask when you have a cat who will sit over your eyes??
I’ve been negligent of my blog lately, I know. I have a lot of great posts lined up and way too many thoughts to organize. Meanwhile, I’m having ALL the feelings and trying my best not to let them take over my mental energy in addition to my emotional energy.
Just yesterday I told Simeon I felt like crying for no reason. Every day the worries pile like drops in a bucket until the bucket gets too heavy and pours out into tears. Worries like Will I be a good mom? Are we prepared financially? What if I become a total wreck for months and months? What if…
Simeon, the good man that he is, assured me that all will be ok. And I know he’s right. We need to take the transition day by day. I’m getting to know myself better too. I realize that I am incredibly strong and can hold up well during intense distress (and its not like I’m really in distress per se). But I also know that I need a lot of spaciousness during times of chaos in order to maintain my mental and emotional wellbeing. Listening to my feelings, not judging them, is the best thing I can do for myself (and baby) now.
So, I’m finding spaciousness in the crocuses blooming in random patches, hosting Monica and the in-laws for brief visits, getting outside for evening walks, and letting myself sleep as much as I want. As I make this transition to motherhood, I’m aware (and in awe really) of the intelligence my body carries. I want to honor it now by listening to the signals it offers. A nap here, a bowl of ice cream there. Repeat.
Whatever it takes. 😉
Photos: Mo takes advantage of our new couch, Monica and Simeon at dinner on Monday, the beginning of blueberry lemon muffins-so delicious, bathroom selfie, Mo greets Simeon from the window.
Around here I’m enjoying the fresh blooms inside since they’re taking time to emerge outside. This week finally brought a new kind of precipitation – rain. Rain that washes away snow! Rain that feels like spring! We changed out our winter boots for rain boots and splashing in the inevitable puddles is our new favorite.
Around here I’m tackling the walls – putting art in frames and putting them up. I especially love the chalkboard addition to our hallway and my masterpiece from 1990 of a happy person. I hope the baby likes it as much as I do.
Around here we’re making plans for the weekend and taking advantage of all the goings on in the “BIG” city of Burlington. Going to listen to a friend play music, going out to eat, antique shopping… It’s fun to get away together and be in a new space with new opportunities for ideas to bloom. I always find myself more creative after getting into a different environment.
Happy to have a weekend at home before I head out again next weekend! Have a good one, friends.
Around here I’m either on a plane, by the beach, stuffing my face full of food, or writing. Not too shabby! 😉 It’s been the perfect kind of week with of deep internal reflection, spaciousness both of environment and of mind, and the sweet companionship of new friends. I’m ready to take off again. And now, while I wait for planes, I’m sitting with the subtle changes within myself that this week gifted me. Like the Atlantic tides that offer gifts of shells and grass and subtly shift the outline of the shore wave by wave by wave. One moment doesn’t look too different from the next. But the power of the ocean cannot be denied. I’ve been finding and claiming that same power within myself recently. And this week helped me put words to it in new ways. I’m feeling so utterly grateful and inspired. Thank you to my companions and new friends for sharing that journey with me, to the incredible staff of the Sea View for being the definition of hospitable, to my workplace for granting me the opportunity and time for this retreat, and to the sea, sun, and sand for being my living metaphor. Xo
Over the weekend I wrote a long blog post about an amazing meal Simeon and I made but the post was accidentally erased before I could post it. What a downer! While I work on re-creating it, here are some brief updates from the NE Kingdom.
I’ve been writing over at The Girl Who Knows. My guest editor-ship will be over at the end of October and I’m already nostalgic about it. It’s been so fun to be a part of the site’s re-launch and to be included among such wonderful co-editors. Check out my latest posts: The Art of the Thank-You Note and How I Learned to Cook.
The fall colors are popping and tree tops are suddenly ablaze. The color riot is one of my most anticipated season changes and I’m so happy it’s finally upon us. Yesterday both Simoen and I, in different cars at different times, stopped on our way home from work about 5 or 6 times to try to capture the reds and oranges, but to no avail. The phone camera just couldn’t capture the magnificence. We’ll try to get better at shooting the colors, so hopefully we’ll have pictures to share soon!
I’m midway through my first level of training in mindfulness facilitation with the Canadian-based non-profit Mindfulness Without Borders. It’s an incredible training and I’m so grateful that I’ll be able to provide this system with our clients next year. Already I’ve watched myself encounter the various revelations that a deep mindfulness practice nurtures and it’s brought me to a new place in relationship with myself. Complemented by the books I’m reading for my masters program (beginning next month) I’m waist-deep in the exploration of consciousness (cognitive development) and awareness (who is me that is aware?). It’s fascinating stuff and I’m absolutely in love with all of it.
Happy Rosh Hashana to all my Jewish readers! Best wishes for a sweet new year. And if you’re not Jewish, Happy Wednesday!