Beside me sits a pile of laundry. The whites have been folded and stacked. Now they wait patiently to be brought upstairs to their places while the darks whirl away, nearly done.
Next to that is a mug of hot (!) black tea–maple syrup and half and half too. It’s syrup season in Vermont after all.
And next to the mug is… me. Typing out thoughts as quick as I can. Nap time only lasts so long. Even the hot mug will have to wait.
I may have 90 minutes in which to luxuriate. Or a measly 20. I never quite know what to expect with naps these days. But regardless, this is the time in which I always expect myself to be able to: fold the dry laundry, start a new load, unload the dishwasher, schedule social media for my job, respond to emails, write and print work correspondence, brainstorm a work project, call back a friend, schedule a doctor’s appointment for my son, FaceTime my mother, catch up on my Instagram feed and post a poignant picture with a funny caption, stretch and exercise, reheat my coffee from the morning, and write a blog post. (My master’s thesis, additional work duties, catering business website retooling, and other side projects are saved for the after dinner hours before I slink into bed eyes already half closed.)
Now where did I put my dang cape?
Of course I feel anguish by late afternoon! I’ve set myself up to fall to my knees in desperation and hopelessness with only the promise of a sugar fix keeping me straight.
It got to a point this week when I had to finally say, enough is enough.
This #momlife gig is not about making wild expectations of myself that always set me up to fail. I need to adjust my notions of what’s possible and what’s appropriate for me to tackle each day and in this season. And I really need to lay off the sugar.
So tonight I’m committing myself to make future to do lists grounded in reality (no more cape, mama). And I intend to try a lot harder to set myself up for success by putting into my body what I what to get out: that means fueling up with the right kind of nutrition to keep me level headed and energized without the afternoon crashing, i.e. no more refined sugar.
That’s all for today.
The laundry still needs to be taken upstairs. Off I go…